3 replies to this topic

[Blue Fantasy]

Buh.... is this the right kind of topic to post here...? ^.^'

Anyway, I keep having, not recurring dreams but a recurring theme in my dreams. To put it simply, it's like I'm cheating on my husband. I often have dreams where I am with a man other than my husband, but end up feeling like something is not right, or searching for my husband and not finding him. Okay, these aren't like wet dreams or anything, there's no sex involved. Just that I am "with" this other man, like dating or married to him.

Most often I am with my ex-fiance, which I find really disturbing. We didn't exactly have what you would call "closure" I suppose. He broke it off with me and I was completely devastated for a while. I don't mean to say bad things about him, but I'm pretty sure a big part of it was that I wouldn't sleep with him even though we were living together. I wanted to wait until we were married. I'm sure of this because the girl he ended up with under a week after our breakup was, um... promiscuous is the nicest word I can think of for her. To shorten everything, she cheated on him while he was in basic training, and he admitted to his sister that he basically wanted me back. Too bad for him I was with my now husband then. XD Anyway, I think that part of these dreams come from our lack of closure maybe.

Then there are other dreams where I am with male friends of mine. In some cases they are people I've had crushes on in the past. In other instances they're people I'd never consider being with. Once or twice it's even been a woman, and I'm definitely not a lesbian or bisexual. I don't know why my mind comes up with these things.

I fear telling my husband about them because he, like me, has always had low self-esteem. I don't want him to think I don't love him or want someone else. I'm sure it's not the case in my subconcious, because otherwise why would it always feel wrong, or would I search for him so much? And why, when I search, can I never find him? It scares me when I can't find him...

If there's anyone who's had experience with these kinds of dreams and maybe figured out why, I'd really like to know. I'm getting kind of sick of them myself.

[infractus]

I can't say that my recurring dream themes are very similar to yours, but I've had numerous dreams about teeth. Whether it's losing them, accidentally pulling them out while I'm looking at them in a mirror or what have you. It's very unsettling and I have to keep checking in the mirror when I wake up. Even then, it's not always convincing that everything is okay.

Buuut, if your dreams are a subconscious cry like mine probably are -- it means that you're probably concerned about some aspect of your relationship. Low self-esteem or not, that's something you've got to sit down and talk about. I'll say the same thing I say to all of my friends, keeping open communication is the best thing you can do -- even if it hurts. If you hide your feelings, then you're only going to do more harm than good.

My dreams of losing my teeth and having other dental problems stems from my hiatus from seeing a dentist regularly. I know I have at least one cavity and I, while not constantly, do find myself concerned about that aspect of myself.

[Blue Fantasy]

But which thing should be my concern? That I'm with these other people, or that I feel wrong about it and can never find him?

[infractus]

The concern would be the 'searching but not finding' aspect of your dreams. This might mean that you don't feel as close as you could to your husband as you want to feel..

As for your ex, you're probably right about the lack of closure to your relationship. Even though your dreams aren't sexual, it might be based off of that tension that you experienced, and quite a bit of it is based on how you felt about this person. From personal experience, I felt strongly for a person who didn't really feel the same way - led me on for some time only to break my heart. But, even to this day, I dream about him on occasion and we're fairly close in those dreams. I feel slightly odd about it after I wake up, though I know that it's not something that will happen to us in real life (already in a very successful relationship at the moment), so I don't feel too badly about it. Dreaming about being with other people isn't necessarily malicious on your current relationships..

Sorry if this is scatterbrained and doesn't make sense..