10 replies to this topic

[EZEKiAL]

So, yeah, long story short, I lost the girl I love more than anything. I'm extremely depressed, and I'm having trouble getting happy at all, so I was wondering if you guys have any ideas for things that I could do to cheer me up. When cheers you up when you're feeling down? Any input at all would be greatly appreciated!

~Zeke

[Mr.Me]

I'm very sorry to hear that

although i wouldn't know exactly how this feels (never had a girlfriend), but it seems that whenever i've seen anyone in a bad mood, if they get told a bad joke, it usually starts to make it easier to cheer them up. i don't know any jokes personally, but maybe someone can tell you one

[Nemoide]

If it's any consolation, being rejected by women is the STORY OF MY LIFE!

Anyhow, for emotional ills, the most helpful thing I can think of is The Middle Pillar technique, as described by Israel Regardie in "The Art of True Healing". Hopefully it isn't too esoteric/over your head. But it is an amazingly effective practice. I don't know how long it would take before the results are strongly felt (it will probably take over a week before you are "in the groove" - make sure you know how to physically relax yourself) but from my experiences, results do come. Big ones. And you can say goodbye to any traces of depression.

This is more of a long-term fix rather than anything short-term. For the meanwhile you might as well do things to keep your mind occupied. Because if you're brooding, you generally end up feeling worse?
Exercise is an especially good technique since it's healthy and you CANNOT think of other things while you're doing it. Plus there's the "endorphin rush" which causes one to feel good once they are working out. My favorite form of exercise is DDR, since I'm a giant nerd who likes TV screens with bright colors and J-pop, but running or jumping rope should be equally effective methods - and they don't cost anything.
The biggest problem with being depressed is that it kills your motivation. You will have to force yourself to do anything, but once you start it should help a lot?

[Zero-Shift]

I've never had a girlfriend so I can't sympathize, but when I encounter a stressful situation I usually treat myself to something to raise my spirits. Maybe I'll see a movie or get some ice cream or shop for shoes or something. Eventually you'll just get over it so long as you don't dwell on it.

[Sierra]

Depression sucks. Literally. Takes all the happy outta ya. It's a tough thing to fight, but you must persevere! Here is what I recommend.

Exercise. Like Nemoide said, first and foremost is not letting the depression do it's thing, by making you have zero motivation/positive thoughts. Exercise is great for that. Exercise also helps change your brain chemistry, which helps the sad feelings go away. So pick your favorite form of moving your body and do it.

Hang out with your favorite people. Humans are social things, and being with people you like can both distract you and make you feel better. A one on one chat with the person you trust most to vent also works wonders. Don't leave yourself alone!

Eat chocolate. Well, this is just kinda my favorite thing to do... Go find some of your favorite sweet and eat some of it. Just not too much.

Go find a dog and play with it. My other favorite method. It's hard to feel sad when a dog is begging you to THROW THE BALL ALREADY. If you got your own dog, great! If not, go find a friend or neighbor. Not a dog person? Substitute cats. Being with animals does have a proven positive effect on the human psyche.

Laugh. laughter is indeed the best medicine, especially in this case. Do whatever you can to make yourself laugh, and your brain will start making endorphins, aka pure happy. So watch a funny movie, hang with your funniest friend, play a funny game, or just start a tickle fight with someone. Just get that gut busting!

Hope these help! ^^ Good luck.

[Noctourne Wonderland]

Eat chocolate. Well, this is just kinda my favorite thing to do... Go find some of your favorite sweet and eat some of it. Just not too much.

Laugh. laughter is indeed the best medicine, especially in this case. Do whatever you can to make yourself laugh, and your brain will start making endorphins, aka pure happy. So watch a funny movie, hang with your funniest friend, play a funny game, or just start a tickle fight with someone. Just get that gut busting!

Hope these help! ^^ Good luck.

Chocolate makes endorphins, too.

When I'm unhappy, trying to mask it by doing other things usually makes me thing more about the problem. My issues have never been romantic, so it might not help, but try to work around the problem. If you can rationally think about it and try to come up with a solution, your mind will move onto other topics.

[Penelopi]

I'm sorry that happened, EZEKiAL. I've experienced rejection, too, although it was a rather indirect one. He just stopped showing interest all the sudden and now it feels distant, awkward, and painful whenever we meet. I only see him about once a year, though, so that's probably the reason why the pain still feels sharp when I'm around him. Since you see that girl more often, the frequent exposures should cause the negative feelings to numb sooner. Thinking of positive things usually helps, like a fun activity you like to do, a funny movie, or an upcoming even you're looking forward to. Doing those things is even more helpful. Listening to music can pump you up/relax you depending on what kind you listen to. I agree with the chocolate and pets, but be careful not to overeat because it's very easy to become overweight when you eat sweets for stress/mood-lifting reasons. Being outdoors, not just exercise, raises mood due to the sunlight exposure. Make a snowman or something. And try to get plenty of sleep, because it generally lifts your mood overnight.

[sapphire]

Haha... sorry, I had to. I did this to my friend the other day when she was depressed. ANYWAY...

When I'm depressed, I try not to think about the thing that makes me sad. I usually end up reading, organizing and rearranging things around my room, or listening to music.
The hard thing is to get it off of your mind. Try hanging out with friends or something. Exercise (like Penelopi, Sierra, and Nemoide said) helps, too. Maybe try listening to music, watching a movie, or reading a book can help. Try doing anything you have fun doing, but don't do anything that reminds you of her.

Also, keep away from her for a while, but not too long. Then (if you still want to be friends) just talk to her and say that you never wanted things to happen that way, and ask if you can still be friends.

I hope any of this helped.

[Noctourne Wonderland]

When a friend suddenly decided to hate me, I just avoided her. Maybe time away from the girl would help you move on?

[Ten]

I'm gonna add emphasis to the exercise thing. It's what kept me from getting too poorly off when I lived on my own (I am just a wee bit too social to live by myself, especially when I know no one around me). Dunno how old you are or your habits, but keeping away from alcohol and cigarettes/cigars/nicotine is also good--this includes second hand smoke. They'll both sedate you a bit and the depressed feeling will worsen.

Bright colours, high-spirited music, activity... Those should all help. Look up colour psychology and see what it says, too. Don't eat a whole lot at a time, but eat fruit and vegetables. Try pasta at meals if you can, or potatoes. Something about the carbs being comfort foods. But not too much! Umm... Hm. Do something you really enjoy. I sing when I'm depressed, for instance, and it helps me a lot.

If I can think of anything else, I'll add onto this.

[NNR07]

Exercise helps; it might be hard at first but try to push your mind into another interest. Eventually you'll be more interested in your new hobby (preferrably new) and your depression will begin to fade off.
Just plain old getting yourself busy helps; I completely forgot about my ex- once school hit again :I.