35 replies to this topic

[MagicPickleFairy]

I am only writing a NiGHTS screenplay. It will never become a movie because I can't legally submit it to the big guys of the film industry. This project is only for fun, along with giving the fans an image of what a NiGHTS movie will be like if one did exist.

The synopsis of the movie will be about NiGHTS' rebellion along with the story of Elliot and Claris.

The main reason why I am posting my idea in the first place is that I have finished step one of the outlining process, and would like some critique.

The First Step

Thank you very much if you choose to critique my Sequence List. I will post with updates, although I will not post the actual screenplay online.

[Bannipper]

I am only writing a NiGHTS screenplay. It will never become a movie because I can't legally submit it to the big guys of the film industry. This project is only for fun, along with giving the fans an image of what a NiGHTS movie will be like if one did exist.

The synopsis of the movie will be about NiGHTS' rebellion along with the story of Elliot and Claris.

The main reason why I am posting my idea in the first place is that I have finished step one of the outlining process, and would like some critique.

The First Step

Thank you very much if you choose to critique my Sequence List. I will post with updates, although I will not post the actual screenplay online.

I suggest making NiGHTS a blend between the good NiGHTS, and the bad NiGHTS, giving him that bad guy feel, and yet he has enough morality to be considered a hero as well.

[MagicPickleFairy]

Seems like a big issue in my outline that NiGHTS doesn't seem nightmareish enough. I was told the same thing before, so now I know that I need NiGHTS to be better at being a Nightmaren.

Yet I do have a question for Banipper: Do you mean that you want me to make NiGHTS have more of a bad guy like attitude, even after NiGHTS' rebellion? If that's what you meant, I find it a wonderful idea, because it would add more layers to the conflicts.

[Musashi_HUmar]

There's no reason you couldn't do this independently. On this site, there are animators, voice actors, and other people who can help you with other aspects. If you were to go through with it I would help you in any way I could.

[MagicPickleFairy]

I have thought about shooting some of the scenes that take place in the Waking World, but I have never thought about making the whole movie.

Honestly that is something for me to think about. Although I should acctually write the screenplay before going onto production. I know if I were going to make this into an independent film, it will have to be animated because it is a fantasy film. I have no experience with animation, although I am experienced with live action directing.

I think that is a great suggestion, and will consider it once I am finished with the writing project.

[Musashi_HUmar]

Well anything to do with NiGHTS should be animated of course. It would be too weird to do anything live action. If you want someone to write the musical score I'd be glad to do it.

[MagicPickleFairy]

Thank you very much, if I make this screenplay into a movie you will be the definite composer.

[Musashi_HUmar]

Sweet! I've always wanted to make NiGHTS music. I've got quite a few ideas for what I would do. I can also do voice acting if you really need it and I'm good at doing concept art.

[Lady Spritzy]

Well, I'm not really good at concept art, but I'm great at character art. and you've got my lines, so that'll be good.
lol, I can imagine mission impossible or james bond music in the background.

[Musashi_HUmar]

I was thinking this song should be in the movie. Let me know what you think.

[MagicPickleFairy]

I do like the song, and it really reminds me of NiGHTS. I'm thinking that it should be in the movie if I make it.

On another note, I am working on the beat sheet along with a preview for YouTube. The beat sheet is almost at the mid point. I need to work more on the preview though.

Once I am finished with the beat sheet, I will start the actual screenplay.

My last screenplay (Bleeding Bananas Foster) took me two months to write (Including writing the Beat Sheet), but I wrote that full time. Since this screenplay is being written part time, it will take longer. I will not start the actual movie process until everything is written. The movie is indeed a "maybe."

[Musashi_HUmar]

Well I'll help you any way that I can. I've always wanted to be involved in a big NiGHTS project. The last one I was involved with didn't go so well.

[Lady Spritzy]

Hey Pickle, if you do end up doing the movie, I would love to do the same voices I did for the trailer. Definately fun.

[Musashi_HUmar]

I can do a variety of voices. I've done some pretty scary evil ones before. I could probably do any other ones you asked me to if I could think of the best way to manipulate my voice. It does help that I sing.

[MagicPickleFairy]

I have just finished the Beat Sheet. I will edit it for grammar and post it under my scraps on Deviantart for critique. Just...not now.

Edit: I did post this here: The Second Step Part 1

[Musashi_HUmar]

Well done!! I can't wait to see more!!

[Penelopi]

I likes. NiGHTS acts like a Nightmaren, but without compromising his inner moral conflict. You blended the two together perfectly. Although, just so you know, the Japanese NiD manual says that NiGHTS met Claris first. But I don't know how much you want to stick to the story, or if you switched it on purpose, or what. It's not that big of a deal, I'm just letting you know. Whichever way you want is fine.

[MagicPickleFairy]

Thanks guys, I'm glad that you like it!

To Penlopi:

I acctually didn't know that NiGHTS had met Claris first. The switch will be easy for me, since there is really no reason why I made NiGHTS meet Elliot first.

I'm glad that I made a good balance with NiGHTS' Nightmareness with the revision. I still wanted NiGHTS to be likable in the begging, but still submitting to Wizeman.

[Lady Spritzy]

I read through it, and liked what I saw. I also find it cool that Wizeman destroys a blue Ideya, since it's a kind of sybology of his intelligence outweighing the intelligence of the dreamers. (I don't know if you were going for that, but that's what it seems like to me)
Keep it comin'!

[Musashi_HUmar]

This movie is gonna be fun to compose music for!

[MagicPickleFairy]

It was long overdue, but I posted the rest of the Beat Sheet.

Act II A

Act II B

Act III

Critique away!

[Musashi_HUmar]

Wonderful! This is fine work! I can't wait to see what this will be like when you really start to put in details!

[MagicPickleFairy]

Just for an update, I am almost to the third act. Just having a little bit of trouble with a line about Wizeman explaining his plan to get the kids away from NiGHTS. Besides from that, I think I'm going to finish this thing. I will edit for grammar, and probably send in a massive Email to random people who want to see it. Remember: It's a first draft, it will always need improvements.

[Moonlighttrill]

Looks good, i like how you snuck in the allusion to JoD. ie Mrs Carter and Mr. Tailor

[MagicPickleFairy]

Yep, that was my plan with the Dreamers' mentors. I really don't know why I've decided to put some JoD last names in... I just thought it would be fun for people to realize that.

[Musashi_HUmar]

You do very nice work MagicPickleFairy. I can't wait until this is finished and I can compose the score!

[MagicPickleFairy]

Dun, Dun Dun Dunnnnn! (My attempt of the Zelda item obtain music.)

You have a finished Screenplay!


Yes, I do speak the truth, the first draft of the screenplay is finished. If anyone is interested in seeing it, please ask! I would love to get some critique for the next draft.

I am not posting this on Deviantart by the way.

[Musashi_HUmar]

You know I'd like to see it!

[neo_skywalker]

Sent a PM to ya about seeing this screenplay.

[Kamui]

This all seems pretty interesting! If you ever need a voice actor, I'm always here! :3

[Noctourne Wonderland]

I'd love to see it, being a screenwriter/actor/director/editor/etc. Like Kamui, I'd love to be a voice actor.

So, since you have the script, who would you cast? Let's go to fantasyland and pretend any celebrity could be in it.

[MagicPickleFairy]

I acctually don't know too many celebrities, so I really don't know who I would cast if I was in fantasyland. Yet I will send you the script. It does need a lot of work, being the first draft and all.

[Noctourne Wonderland]

TIM CURRY AS WIZEMAN

I can't wait to read it. Everything can have more work done on it- nothing's perfect, but I bet it will be great.

[MagicPickleFairy]

Second Draft ahoy!

Here are some ideas for my second draft.

-I don't even think that Elliot and Claris even have personalities in my screenplay. So I decided to make Claris an oddball, and Elliot a popular boy/man with high self esteem until he meets Aaron, then his world will fall apart. The reason I am making Elliot and Claris that way is because I want to add a theme of breaking through social norms. That Elliot and Claris still gets along even if are in different cliques.

-I will be adding some Waking World scenes. One of them would be about Claris getting into a cafeteria's sound system and singing some song to the entire school. I was thinking a 90s pop songs in particular, if you have any suggestions, please share. Elliot will know Claris from her song, and gets some kind of secret crush on her. (I want some kind of romance between the two Perfect Dreamers, and I don't want it as spontaneous at the end as it was at my first draft.)

- This is a maybe, but Elliot having an overbearing girlfriend who pushes him too far on his basketball. Elliot wants to dump her, but can't find the strength to do so until the end. (Elliot: I'm not your boyfriend! [Chowder anyone?])

- At Act 2B, NiGHTS and Claris almost lose against Gulpo, and Claris and NiGHTS get into a fight. Claris storms off to Mystic Forest, meets Jackle, they get along well, then Jackle suggests that s/he helps her accomplish her dreams instead of NiGHTS. Claris agrees with Jackle. (Claris= Woman as Temptress [Monomyth anyone?])

- I love Reala's intentions in the first draft, being a Nightmaren who wants his/her friend back. I will change Jackle a little bit. Not only does Jackle want to be as power are Wizeman by having a Prefect Dreamer (Although a single Perfect Dreamer is only half as powerful as Wizeman) but Jackle wants to retrieve the Merge Crystal (The thing on NiGHTS' chest, I made it so it an make NiGHTS merge with Elliot and Claris) to harness the power of a Perfect Dreamer. (Jackle= A pretty bad antagonist)

- Other questions in my mind: Does Claris have any friends? Is Elliot as interesting as Claris? Are the kids' hair natural colored or do they dye it? Should I have an element of Selph? Should I do more to make it follow the Hero's Journey?

If anyone who had read it have any suggestions, please share.

[EZEKiAL]

That was great! I'd be happy to do any voice acting...I'd like to think I do a pretty mean Wizeman...not to mention Reala!

[Mr.Me]

wow just. . .amazing

i have no creativity so i could never do something like this

u haz a gift