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Concrit needed!

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Lunar Requiem

Lunar Requiem


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FLiGHT again, and once more my princess is in another castle.

I'm glad that my fic was posted; I'm actually working on chapter two of "Nothing Personal" and an introspective on Will. Before I do that, though, I'm always looking for ways to improve, so if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to ask for constructive criticism so I can improve in the upcoming chapters of the fiction. Was there anything anyone liked about the fic? Is there anything I can improve on or something that shouldn't have happened (i.e. technical terms being gotten wrong, etc.)? I've already begun working on the second part (it's looking to be a three-part fic so far), so any feedback at all, even negative, would be very much appreciated.

Another thing is that I'm nervous of my characterization of NiGHTS as seen here: http://eternitydreamer.livejournal.com/profile S/he is set after the events of Journey of Dreams, so naturally there are massive spoilers in the profile, but hir logs are linked to right on the profile page, and if the link "eternitydreamer" is clicked there are entries there that can be looked through. I think I have room for improvement, so I'd like opinions on my portrayal of NiGHTS as well, if no one minds.

Hopefully this is allowed here (I looked over the rules again and there didn't seem to be a problem); if not, please feel free to tell me off/delete it.

Thank you all very much for taking the time to read this. <3

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