5 replies to this topic

[TRiPPY]

Crossposting from my FB since I'd like varied input on this:
 
I'm in the middle of invoicing clients and stuff right now but I've had something in my head since yesterday that stuck with me and thought I'd throw you guys the same question that got asked to me yesterday because I thought my answer was pretty on point. It's about internet use and online friends.
I was asked yesterday by a non online type person why I spend so much time talking to people I can't see face to face (Which i always dislike hugely the implied tone that people on the internet are somehow invisible men and not real people). I was asked why if I also have 'real' friends who i can spend time with offline, like workmates doesn't it feel like more fun or whatever. Was I scared of talking to people or was I antisocial. And i gave the most honest response I could. I'd never actually had to think about this as an adult because i feel quite happy with myself now (and it put me in a bit of a miffed mood to be honest).
The reason I spend so much time online and did growing up is because offline i had very very few close friends I felt glad to have that I shared things in common with. At SEGA i was VERY happy because we all shared lots of things in common like our love for gaming and PC's and stuff I cared about. People 'got' me there and that's why i loved it so much and why i was so close to my friends there. I spend my time with people I feel i can connect with, who I can talk to things I know how to talk about. Otherwise I don't have much to say and feel incredibly awkward like I'm wasting both my and their time. I mean I make an effort to be friendly when i have to. I'm actually a very chatty person and I'd like to think a bit funny sometimes. I'm very warm.

But yeah, the reason i didn't go play around on the streets all day as a kid was because it wasn't what made me happy. To me happiness and enjoyment is drawing and being surrounded by people I can relate to. Simple as. I find it boring and annoying and a waste of time when i could be doing productive stuff. I could relate to very few people when i was a kid. Thesedays I have every type of friend I need to function as a person, the whole scope, both offline and online. The people I get on with will tell you I'm a nice person and the people I don't will tell you I'm some kinda confusing shy person or some sh!t *lol*. I aint shy. I just think a lot before i speak. And i wont waste too much time exhausting myself with talking about things i know nothing about. I get vives of people that make it very obvious if i can connect to them as a friend or not. I know a LOT of different types of people.

So, if you see someone online all day and not in a pub (hey i love pubs!) getting ratfaced every night it doesn't mean they're in a room by themselves hating life and all emo and shizz. It means they're very absorbed in what they love doing with people they love interacting with. I love my life! I have a great boyfriend, a wonderful ability and amazing friends. I do what I love and have achieved TONS of my dreams and goals. Some days I like offline friends, some days I like online friends. At the end of the day though i still care about them all.

I'm a very very busy person with a pretty hardcore work ethic. I get anxious if I'm not working on something i know i have to do. So just let me enjoy what i do and I'll let you enjoy what you enjoy. Everyone likes different things, so don't make them feel bad because of it. Nothing wrong with me, I'm a total bosssssss XD derpy but yeah. And i want to hang out with my friends and get drinks in soon.

So, why do you spend time online and do you value offline/online friends/activities the same?

tldr version; talking to boring people who don't care about talking to me about my boring things bores me. I'm spoilt by amazing friends and if i get any more friends im going to OD on friends knthnx. Not a hermit. Very busy and already happy.

[Gonzo]

I dunno if I value one over the other, but I do spend a lot of time talking to people online largely because I'm not very articulate in real life. XD; I do better in a conversation when I have time to decide on what to say.

[SammyKleww]

I grew up to be the odd child in my town; so very few people who I knew in real life actually stuck around to be my friends now. In fact, I really only know of one guy who's still my friend, even then we talk more online than we do offline. 

 

I value my friends because they are my friends; we laugh, we cry, we smile, we talk. We have fun. No matter if you're right next to me or across the world; so long as you fit into the category of "Friend" then you are my friend. I, unfortunately, have the majority of my friends living far away from me. That's not an issue for me; and it's bothersome when my parents complain that I don't get out of the house and spend time with people.

[CROSSiNG]

I used to spend a lot of time talking with infractus, TRAViS, and the gang in IRC, but when things got really stressful in school, I would log on to IRC less, and spent time talking (still online) with friends from school. Getting back into the IRC things though, and back into the community here. 

[Nemoide]

I always feel like I'm a bit of the odd man out because I'm NOT super comfortable chatting online.  I like emails and webforums because there's no pressure to respond instantly, but when I get instant messages, unless it's from an established close friend AND at an opportune time, I tend to RUN AWAY.  I'm pretty awkward online!
However I have the impression that most folks I know do a large portion of their communicating online.

Unfortunately I'm living in the middle of nowhere, so I don't have too many chances for face-to-face personal contact with friends.  I **do** really like talking on the phone though!  No matter where I'm living, I always try to have a landline because I think the sound quality is so much better and that makes having conversations easier?  I just like being able to hear the other person's voice!  It makes bouncing jokes, doing impressions, bursting out in song, or making sound effects way more fun.  (I-I may have unusual conversation habits?)

So I definitely prefer face-to-face or phone-based communications, but I don't think there's anything wrong or "lesser" about other people finding satisfaction from their online chat-times?

[Thoughtcrime82]

Crossposting from my FB since I'd like varied input on this:
 
I'm in the middle of invoicing clients and stuff right now but I've had something in my head since yesterday that stuck with me and thought I'd throw you guys the same question that got asked to me yesterday because I thought my answer was pretty on point. It's about internet use and online friends.
I was asked yesterday by a non online type person why I spend so much time talking to people I can't see face to face (Which i always dislike hugely the implied tone that people on the internet are somehow invisible men and not real people). I was asked why if I also have 'real' friends who i can spend time with offline, like workmates doesn't it feel like more fun or whatever. Was I scared of talking to people or was I antisocial. And i gave the most honest response I could. I'd never actually had to think about this as an adult because i feel quite happy with myself now (and it put me in a bit of a miffed mood to be honest).
 

 

I know exactly the type of narrow-minded, judgmental person who asks questions like that. They are usually quite boring people really. They often miss their school days, "the best days of their life" and in adult life, they lament the lack of opportunities to victimize people for being different  - so it comes out in the form of passive aggressive questions like the above. 

 

Do what you enjoy and don't waste energy justifying yourself to these herd mentality dullards.

 

Funnily enough, I find online communication and chatting on the phone quite difficult, while I'm MUCH better in person. I would never judge anyone for doing it the other way round though. In fact I think then internet is an amazing tool for helping people find those with similar interests.

 

I have no interest in The X Factor, Premiership football or sport of any kind tbh. Sometimes people don't believe me and proceed to tell me about these things anyway, so sometimes I prefer to spend time online.