2 replies to this topic

[LUCiD]

Alright, I've read through various topics on here and other sites on how to avoid making a mary sue. So, I re-did my oc, Soul. (Not maren in avi), and I want to know what people think.

Name: Soul/Riki De Meel
Species: Half Maren, Half Human
Age: 116 (looks 16 since marens don't age)
Ability: Darkness manipulation. Also has genric Nightmaren abilities. (I.e. Flight.)
Weakness: Has no maren abilities in waking world besides shape-shifting, which is very limited. Needs to wake up in order to spy as a human in waking world. Can't see out of right eye. Left arm is gone.
Noticable Traits: Two birth deffects. One arm, one eye, and many scars. Born that way. "Reason" parents abandoned her at birth.
Alliance: Works under Wizeman, servant of Reala, but occasionaly helps NiGHTS and co. More of an anti-villain than anti-hero, though.
Enemies: Still creating them.
Reason for injuries: Before being dragged down to Nightmare, she fought Reala, and lost miserably...
Hair: Red and messy, bangs partially cover eye patch. Shoulder-length.
How she became part Maren: Still in works, but made a deal with Wizeman, lost, etc...


So...any thoughts? :3

[Noctourne Wonderland]

I like your idea. The deal with Wizeman concept is something I'd really love to read.

[LUCiD]

I like your idea. The deal with Wizeman concept is something I'd really love to read.

Thank you. ^ - ^ I'm trying to really push myself past my limits with the story. I want the reader to really think and feel connected to the story, and not just ending up being a generic mary-sue esque story.

Soul: Did you have to take away my arm and add more scars? Wasn't one missing eye with a scar enough? Me: Nope. Soul: >.>