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I think my grandpa's dying.


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12 replies to this topic

#1
Purge

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It's... It's just been really stressful lately, and I find myelf lashing out at everyone, even people I care for.

I just... He's such a nice man, and seeing him looked up to an oxygen tank, having a hard time breathing... it hurts me so much. Normally, I don't talk about my outside life to people but... I just needed to get this off my chest.

I feel so upset.

#2
SmashQueen

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Oh my, I-I'm so sorry, Purge. I don't know what else to say other than: you have friends and family to help you through this. ;_;

I'm sorry.

#3
iLLViLLAiN

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It's understandable. We tend to become hostile when the people and things we love show signs of going away. The only thing you can do is prepare. No matter how impossible it'll be, that's all you can do.

#4
Leonhart

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I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through, Purge. I remember when my Grandpa passed away a few years ago and how I felt, so my thoughts are with you, dude. Just remember to try and stay strong.

#5
Purge

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Thank you.
It's the first family member that's close to me that might die, and it just won't be the same without him.

They say he's got a couple months, maybe even Christmas, but they don't know after.

#6
Level 99

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This is going to sound tough, but you've got to spend as much time with him as possible. Share everything about you, the good and the bad, and learn as much as you can while he's still around. Interview him, and tape record it. If he has trouble breathing, do it at intervals so as not to overburden.

The love you have for him carries on with the more memories and knowledge you have. Lashing out is okay, as long as you make up for it. Being in bad mental states is something that happens to everyone, so they will understand as long as they know what is going on. I am sorry to hear about your grandfather's state of health, but consider yourself lucky that you will have a bit of a chance to do and say the things you'd want to before he goes. My father passed very suddenly and without warning, but thankfully I was on good terms at that point and he did know how I felt. Not everyone gets that chance.

Be strong. Once again, I am sorry. Because I know your pain.

#7
infractus

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Everything everyone added, plus especially what Level99 said.

Don't miss the opportunity to spend what time you can with him.
I regret that my grandparents live so far away from me, that I might not get to spend just a little more time with them if they pass on before I can go out for a visit.

Do take care and be strong. You're allowed to feel however it is you feel, but don't be afraid to reach out if you need to, either.

#8
Purge

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Thank you, everyone.

I tried spending time with him on Thanksgiving, but he passed out and had to be taken to the hospital.

#9
Sierra

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I can understand your feelings. I've had to go through 3 grandparent's deaths now, two of them on life support and vomiting. I've also had to deal with my father in a similar state, but he luckily pulled through. The pain of it is so, so hard to deal with. I didn't know what to do with my feelings at first either, but you're doing the right thing, looking for support from friends and family. They were the only reason I was able to cope, in those times.

And as much as it hurts, everyone is right. Spending as much time with your grandfather is the only real thing to do. And if you can't, try to connect with him in other ways. Send him letters, artwork, flowers, a recording of your voice with a message, videos, music, anything. Let him know that you love him. When he's conscious, he will see these things and they will give him comfort. He'll probably want to tell you the same, but seeing as he is so ill, you'll probably have to go to him to hear it. It's painful, but this is one of the best ways to start to make your peace with his passing. It will give him peace, too.

And next time you feel yourself full of so much anguish, go to others you love and those who love him. They know your pain too. It's okay to share it with them and let it out. And so do we strangers. Everyone has felt some sort of loss, some deeper than others.

I'm not a religious person, but I shall be thinking of you and your grandfather and praying for you two, so that you can make it through this.

#10
Penelopi

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I'm sorry to hear that. I know some of your pain, because my grandmother's health has been fluctuating lately. I second the advise to spend as much time with him as possible and tell him everything you would ever want to tell him now. Also, while you visit, think of ways to make him more comfortable. Grannie sometimes wanted to move around, fluff her pillow, or drink some water, which we had to help her with. If he has trouble talking, watch him for signs of discomfort rather than waiting for him to tell you. Try to have a smile on your face, even though you may feel like crying. Of course, you may know this stuff already and could be thinking "Duh". I'm just relating the things I suddenly realized I had to do once I was in the hospital. Remember too that other people in your family may be feeling just as upset and may need the same comfort or help that you do. Offer help and cooperation where you may not have before.

I'll pray for both of you, too.

#11
Noctourne Wonderland

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I know how you feel. Don't think that he's going away, instead celebrate his life and the time you have with him. Keeping a positive attitude will make it that much easier for both of you. :D

#12
Bonzi77

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Aw jeez, Purge. That really sucks. I'll pray for you both, and remember this-- That won't the end for him. You guys will get to see each other again soon enough. :P

#13
iLLViLLAiN

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Thank you, everyone.

I tried spending time with him on Thanksgiving, but he passed out and had to be taken to the hospital.

What is his current condition?




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