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This is your Captain Speaking...

Started by Auto-Fox , May 08 2010 03:28 PM

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80 replies to this topic

#41
SmashQueen
Posted 29 May 2010 - 06:55 AM

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"This is your captain speaking. I want bagels. And a beaver. ....And matches. That is all."

#42
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 29 May 2010 - 03:02 PM

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This is captain speaking. Will everyone on deck 19375-29 stop singing Paula Abdul's greatest hits? Thank you."

#43
SmashQueen
Posted 29 May 2010 - 05:58 PM

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"This is your captain speaking, of course. Why wouldn't I be? So, has anybody seen Sprinkles McMuffin-Sun? It's a pony that resembled Starlight Moonbeam-AHH! WHY IS THERE A PONY'S HEAD IN HERE?! Oh dear Jupiter it's BLINKING! Why?! Someone call th-"

Kzzzzttttttzzz

#44
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 29 May 2010 - 09:45 PM

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"This is your second mate speaking. We suspect flamboyant Mafia activity abord the ship; avoid Marlon Brando impersonators at all costs."

#45
andersam
Posted 29 May 2010 - 10:46 PM

andersam

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"This is your captain speaking. Would all watercooler personell report to deck 46AAB to resolve a Yo mamma battle? Thank you"

#46
iLLViLLAiN
Posted 29 May 2010 - 11:56 PM

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"This is your Captain speaking. Our rockets have lost tremendous amounts of power and the ship is now set to collide with Earth 4X. I'm going to Mars right now for, ooooh, the next twenty years... That is all."

#47
Auto-Fox
Posted 30 May 2010 - 01:39 PM

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Attention engineering deck. A small planet has crashed into our windshield. Can somebody please fix the wipers? Thank you.

#48
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 30 May 2010 - 06:25 PM

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"Attention all intergalactic shoppers! If you have a sweet tooth, we have a special treat for you! If your purchases in the next half hour amount to five dollars or more, we'll give you a bag of hard candy, free!"

#49
SmashQueen
Posted 01 June 2010 - 06:05 AM

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"This is your strange captain speaking. I would like to remind all decks that sugar is STILL illegal. Anyone caught taking that hard candy offer will be shot out of the airlock faster than you can say 'Ker-splunkin'. Now, would someone please send more of that Philosopher's Stew to Deck 4098987? The homunculus are getting antsy. That is all."

#50
viperxmns
Posted 02 June 2010 - 12:46 AM

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"This is your Captain speaking. This is a message for the Saiyans in the Hyperbolic time deck; although that deck appears infinite, your constant power upping is disturbing the neighboring Soul Society deck. In order to prevent a highly exciting yet disastrous confrontation, a Hyperbolic Satellite is being prepared for your use, and we would request you relocate your activities there. Thank you."

#51
Auto-Fox
Posted 02 June 2010 - 01:30 AM

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Attention deck 46374. We do not care about Rule 34, your fan-art of the bridge crew has us GREATLY disturbed. Please cut it out.

#52
SmashQueen
Posted 02 June 2010 - 08:49 PM

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"Attention all news stations. As much as anyone would love to see a Rhythm-genre dance off on the 95th floor of deck 242323, I must advise you to cut out the general insults and name-calling. For one, the 95th floor does not exist, even in your mind. For another, nobody wants to attract Krew down there. Yes, yes, I'm sure you're all shrieking by now. Take it up to an orbiting satellite if you wish to have the DDR Crew face off against the Rhythm Rogues. Take care not to blow it up or agitate those in the soon-to-be Hyperbolic Satellite. Doing so might endanger the lives of people across six multi-verses. That is all."

#53
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 02 June 2010 - 09:44 PM

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"This is your captain speaking. Will a Mr. Gakjthoi Slikshdth please report to the loading dock on deck 3290743984? Some of you luggage was lost en route to Venus. Thank you."

#54
Level 99
Posted 03 June 2010 - 03:09 PM

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This is your Captain speaking. Would whomever is responsible for putting the Moose-head in my bed please provide the rest of said Moose? I haven't eaten that well in years.

#55
SmashQueen
Posted 03 June 2010 - 10:18 PM

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This is your captain speaking. Would the person responsible for summoning Cthulu please report to deck 19's airlock? Thank you.

#56
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 03 June 2010 - 11:28 PM

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"This is your captain speaking. We're experiencing difficulties with the automatic translator, så non si alarme wenn wir anfangen ομιλία другой 语言. Merci."


(Those who want to translate- it's Norwegian, Italian, Spanish, German, Greek, Russian, Chinese, and French.)

#57
SmashQueen
Posted 05 June 2010 - 12:49 AM

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(Do not be alarmed. Thanks. Ha.)

This is your grooooovy captain speaking. I just met myself from the 1980s! Isn't that neat! Beware though. I might spontaneously combust to prevent a paradox from happening. Thank you and--

Ka-bloosh.

#58
sapphire
Posted 06 June 2010 - 05:49 PM

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"This is you captain speaking. If anyone has found my holographic Charizard card, please return it to the Captain's Quarters.

Wait, what? Counterfeit? Are you freaking kidding me?!

Attention all decks... never mind.

#$@^$%%$%@#!!!"

#59
SmashQueen
Posted 14 June 2010 - 12:03 AM

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"Attention all decks, this is your captain speaking. Due to the recent Twilight fangirl outbreak, any and all vampires are to commit Sepuku to bring back honor to the word "vampire". Unless of course they don't sparkle when exposed to the sun or are named Dracula. That it all."

#60
Dreamer#96
Posted 14 June 2010 - 12:30 AM

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"Attention deck 958254, we have received word that you will be boarded by space pirates in 5 minutes. We received this information 9 minutes and 59 seconds ago. That is all."

#61
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 14 June 2010 - 08:59 PM

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This is your captain speaking. Do not go near deck 304958; someone has inadvertently opened the Necronomicon ex Mortis. Guards are stations at all doors.

#62
Penelopi
Posted 16 June 2010 - 07:16 PM

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This is your captain speaking. Deck 2346, the representatives of Deck 4312 say that they are willing to negotiate for the return of the silly bandz hostages. They will meet you at Deck 3117 with the requested gold pieces. Both sides are to be unarmed.

#63
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 18 June 2010 - 12:47 AM

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This is your captain speaking. The dining hall on deck 20973429578 has been set on fire.

#64
SmashQueen
Posted 27 June 2010 - 12:39 AM

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"This is your captain speaking. Will Teams Ursine, Triple Threat, Hypnotoad, Gargantu-chu, and Hugs please report to the Bagel Deck. Lord Foamy wishes to have a word with you about copyright infringement and cruelty towards monsters being captured in miniature devices. That is all."

Whiiiiiiiiinnne

"Squirrelly wrath! You will all fear the squirrelly wrath of Foamy! Your lord and master. ...That is all."



(A cookie to anyone who makes the connection to Team Hugs. :P)

#65
Auto-Fox
Posted 27 June 2010 - 01:34 AM

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Attention all decks.
I like small speakers.
I like tall speakers.
If they've music they're wired for sound.
WALKIN' ABOUT WITH A HEAD FULLA' MUSIC..
...*ahem*...
...that is all.

#66
SmashQueen
Posted 28 June 2010 - 12:16 AM

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"Attention all decks! This is your captain... If you value your lives, count the shadows. For Armok sakes, count the shadows! ... For Armok sakes, count the shadows! ... For Armok sakes, count the shadows! ... For Armok sakes, count the shadows! ... For Armok sakes, cou--"

Screeeeeeech

#67
Auto-Fox
Posted 06 July 2010 - 04:10 PM

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Attention all decks! I understand you've got some writing to do!
PUNCH the keys for god's sake!
Yes!
YES!
You're the man now dog!
That is all.

#68
iLLViLLAiN
Posted 06 July 2010 - 04:57 PM

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This is your captain speaking. I've got your nose.

#69
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 07 July 2010 - 12:25 AM

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This is your captain speaking. To you left is a rare...

Made you look!

#70
SmashQueen
Posted 07 July 2010 - 03:04 AM

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Attention all decks. The Aperture Science Club is holding a Fun-for-All Extravaganza on deck 54754864. Upon being scanned at the entrance, you will be be informed of where to go. Have a nice day ever'body, and remember to grab some cupcakes on the way out. ...That is all.

#71
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:04 PM

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This is you captain speaking. We've accidentally flown into a ROoand Emmerich movie, and we're being shot at. Duck and cover!

#72
Auto-Fox
Posted 08 July 2010 - 01:38 PM

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Attention Dr. Davros. According to the decks above and below you, your experiments have been producing loud vocoder voices which are keeping people up at night. Not to mention the screams of the innocent as they are hunted down by ambulatory salt-and-pepper shakers.
PLEASE-STOP-THIS-AT-ONCE-OR-YOU-WILL-BE-EX-TER-MIN-A-TED!

#73
daru
Posted 11 July 2010 - 04:20 PM

daru

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this is your captain speaking to all decks try to break my code



SAVE_US.222

#74
Auto-Fox
Posted 11 July 2010 - 06:29 PM

Auto-Fox

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Attention all decks!
DO A BARREL ROLL!

#75
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 11 July 2010 - 06:58 PM

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This is your captain speaking. Will passengers on disco-deck 24978397 please stop burning down the house? The smoke is suffocating.

#76
iLLViLLAiN
Posted 12 July 2010 - 10:09 AM

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This is your captain speaking. Will the people in Sector 230JALSKDFJ029J5I25UY04QJM064QJM9P6NJQ3JM603JQ0453J0QJ3IJ60QJ304J5JQ304UJ54Q3280
8309564J891FU41FC810587M2809U6C9876CFM0892U987498CF206,KC7298796MCVU9287396N02798
3M7CV98237N967V82M06U89VGM980Q2MU896290VMU2890Q7469V8CM2UQ0CFROPCF283067VCM982UQ8
9D6082Q7C98602QM8C7976239046M2837C89063M27V689237CM6...

Attention all patrons on this ship. This is your new captain speaking. I'll be replacing your former captain as he has just passed out and is quickly being shipped to sick bay. I'll be picking up where he left off. *gasp* 7409J48TW394J6T890QWJP93TKNGB89PAWJ4KLTJH49PWH3UHTY...

#77
Dreamer#96
Posted 12 July 2010 - 03:45 PM

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    Oh, and NiGHTS.
Attention Deck 4-2, This is your captain speaking. Will all passengers on Deck 4-2 please refrain from using the elevator barrel, we have been receiving complaints of people not knowing how to work them. Please wait for a few years until the deck is Internet capable to look up the answers. Until then, have fun on Deck 4-2. That is all.

#78
Noctourne Wonderland
Posted 12 July 2010 - 09:20 PM

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Attention deck 0985094769! What's Octopaw doing here?

#79
SmashQueen
Posted 13 July 2010 - 03:51 AM

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This is your captain speaking. Recently there has been a brain bleach bandit onboard. ...Please. Give us back the brain bleach. I WANT TO UNWATCH WILL'S DAD FROM THE PARTY LAST NIGHT - MY EEEEYYYYYEESSS!!

Wwwwhiiiinne

THUD.

*sobbing* I want my brain bleach...

#80
Auto-Fox
Posted 17 August 2010 - 07:48 PM

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Attention deck 432556785. Will you please STOP playing ELO at top volume? The year 2095 was CENTURIES ago.
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