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The Power of NiGHTS


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#41
EZEKiAL

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NiGHTS once looked into space, thoughtfully. Earth was created.

When NiGHTS has gas, other people blame themselves.

If you look directly into NiGHTS' collar, you will get HiV, AIDS, herpes, cyphlis (sp?), and pregnant with a Nightmaren baby, who will slowly eat you from the inside...even if you're male.

NiGHTS is the WizERman.

Everytime NiGHTS coughs, an orphan's soul is sucked into a vacuum cleaner.

#42
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-NiGHTS once paralooped someone so hard that he broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-If you ask NiGHTS what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he paraloops you in the face.
-NiGHTS lost his virginity before his dad did. *SHOT*
-There are no disabled people. Only people who have met NiGHTS.
-NiGHTS does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
-On the 7th day, God rested.... NiGHTS took over.

#43
Sage

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NiGHTS doesn't teabag people, he POTATO SACKS them.

~runs!~

#44
NNR07

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NiGHTS doesn't need to hire a hooker. Hookers need to hire NiGHTS.

#45
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-NiGHTS was the original star of the movie 300. But his body was so sexy the camera kept breaking.
-They didn't fire NiGHTS, NiGHTS fired them.
-NiGHTS is so desirable that he can't even look at himself in the mirror. Well...he can but the mirror breaks too because of the awesomeness overload.
-Ask not what NiGHTS can do for you, but what you can do for NiGHTS.

#46
YamiLover13

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NiGHTS can paraloop Reala without even lifting a finger. (I am serious....I have seen it happen!)

NiGHTS makes both genders faint with lust.

#47
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NiGHTS makes both genders faint with lust.

Thanks for keeping it going.
When NiGHTS is set on fire, the fire gets third degree burn.

#48
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NiGHTS made Superman cry.

#49
EZEKiAL

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Ideya Captures explode because NiGHTS tells them to.

NiGHTS is in ur dreamworld, paraloopin' ur Pianz.

#50
KittyWhiggles

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Ideya Captures explode because NiGHTS tells them to.

NiGHTS is in ur dreamworld, paraloopin' ur Pianz.

No! Not my pians!!

-NiGHTS is in ur wetdreamz, havin' sum fun :ph34r: (got it from somewhere >_>?)
-When NiGHTS is angry, tornados are born.
-The man on the moon was NiGHTS

#51
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-NiGHTS is in ur wetdreamz, havin' sum fun :blink: (got it from somewhere >_>?)

OMFG.

XDDDDD.

I did that 8D! I showed it to Kyra awhile back. Lots of lulz.

NiGHTS's sheer awesomeness crashed the CulT servers back in July/August.

#52
^_^ Go Dreamer

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If you look directly at NiGHTS' eyelashes you'll get STDs

(I'v got nothing) ^_^;

#53
KittyWhiggles

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- NiGHTS pwns Chuck Norris's face

#54
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NiGHTS is so awesome, he's supah.

=3

...look at my sig if you don't get it. :P

#55
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-NiGHTS can slam revolving doors.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is through NiGHTS's fist.
-While a normal poker face conceals the emotion of its wearer, NiGHTS’s poker face skips all that and just drives other players insane. As a result, the only way to survive a game of poker against NiGHTS is to play online, and even then you still might go insane.
-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects NiGHTS could use to kill you, including the room itself.
-There are no steroids in baseball, just players NiGHTS has breathed on.

#56
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-In an average living room there are 1,242 objects NiGHTS could use to kill you, including the room itself.

omglol! :lol: Im goin to be thinking of that all day now, thanks! XD

#57
The wise Kitsune

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If you stare into NiGHTS' eyes long enough, your brain will implode.

#58
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Refer to my sig.

#59
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NiGHTS invented water.. entirely by accident. He figured out that hydrogen and oxygen explode when you put them together, and when he went to asplode Reala one day, he ended up drowning him.


>_>()

#60
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-NiGHTS defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because NiGHTS loves you.
-Rathering than being birthed like a normal child, NiGHTS decided to paraloop his way out of his mother's womb.
-NiGHTS can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
-NiGHTS is the only person ever to be able to defeat a brick wall in tennis.
-In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by NiGHTS, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
-NiGHTS invented cancer because he was tired of killing people.

#61
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    and i'll work up on the rest later....
im way out of my league... but i figured... what the heck... some are probably downright horrible... sorry. I'll delete the ones you don't like.

- the sound waves produced whenever NiGHTS snaps his fingers are powerful enough to cause a nuclear fusion explosion..

- NiGHTS flicked a simple light switch off once... it caused the Northeast Blackout of 2003

- NiGHTS went to the bathroom on earth once... and thats how nuclear fuel was discovered

- NiGHTS once forgot to wear protection... an Antichrist was born.

- once, NiGHTS coughed, a nearby humans' head exploded.

- children ask "do we go to heaven when we die?" the parents reply, "No, you go to NiGHTS."

- NiGHTS held a mirror to his face... the mirror blushed then broke.

- god noticed that fewer souls were making it to heaven, he checked the gates of heaven, and saw that NiGHTS was blocking the way,
wiping a napkin across his mouth as he belched.

- an ill person passed NiGHTS, NiGHTS said "be healthy." and the person was instantly cured

- NiGHTS began to drill dash, and wasnt looking where he was flying... he hit the LZ 129 Hindenburg.

- NiGHTS flew high in the air, and did a massive paraloop... causing the largest hole in the ozone layer to form over the antarctic...
giving earth, what we call, the greenhouse effect, when in actuality, its called the NiGHTS effect.

#62
^_^ Go Dreamer

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im way out of my league... but i figured... what the heck... some are probably downright horrible... sorry. I'll delete ones you don't like.

- the sound waves produced whenever NiGHTS snaps his fingers are powerful enough to cause a nuclear fusion explosion..

- NiGHTS flicked a simple light switch off once... it caused the Northeast Blackout of 2003

- NiGHTS went to the bathroom on earth once... and thats how nuclear fuel was discovered

- NiGHTS once forgot to wear protection... an Antichrists was born.

- once, NiGHTS coughed, a nearby humans' head exploded.

- children ask "do we go to heaven when we die?" the parents reply, "No, you go to NiGHTS."

- NiGHTS held a mirror to his face... the mirror blushed then broke.

- god noticed that fewer souls were making it to heaven, he checked the gates of heaven, and saw that NiGHTS was blocking the way,
wiping a napkin across his mouth as he belched.

- an ill person passed NiGHTS, NiGHTS said "be healthy." and the person was instantly cured

- NiGHTS began to drill dash, and wasnt look where he was flying... he hit the LZ 129 Hindenburg.

- NiGHTS flew high in the air, and did a massive paraloop... causing the largest hole in the ozone layer to form over the antarctic...
giving earth, what we call, the greenhouse effect, when in actuality, its called the NiGHTS effect.


Hhahahahahaha! I nearly died laughing from reading this! ^_^

#63
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-We are all really NiGHTS' creations...he just gave God the copy rights.

-You know how we don't know what's at the end of a black whole? NiGHTS knows whats at the end!

-The Nile and Mississippi river were the result of NiGHTS running.

That's all I got...

#64
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-NiGHTS once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
-NiGHTS can believe its not butter.
-Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. NiGHTS calls this "a slow Tuesday."
-NiGHTS has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
-If you Google search "NiGHTS getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
-It takes NiGHTS 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
-NiGHTS played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

#65
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    and i'll work up on the rest later....
i figured out some more.... im not sure about these though.... i'll get rid of the ones that go too far... some i put in as a complete joke, and some are just awful.

- recently, it was discovered that NiGHTS was another titan in Greek mythology.

- when the sequel was released, people hated it, they cursed NiGHTS for ruining their childhood...
NiGHTS foresaw that this may happen... he detonated the planted bombs hidden the games.

- many men look up to NiGHTS... mostly because of his "length" and his unsurpassed amount of stamina during "performance."

- the "sparkles" that NiGHTS emits are somehow believed to be the cause of the coal mine fire in Centralia, Pennsylvania.

- NiGHTS was supposed to be the cause of earths doom in the movie "The Core" but was fired because he was "too good" at his job.

- NiGHTS is THE ONE

- NiGHTS invented inventions.

-NiGHTS made hell freeze over.

- NiGHTS is so powerful, he could give himself a neck and/or a nose. (okay that was terrible...)

- NiGHTS went to see a gynecologist... right as they began, the doctor saw a flash of light and was dead before he hit the ground.
(i just dont feel right about this one... i may delete it...)

- once NiGHTS clipped his nails in the air. once they hit earth it began to spread a virus across animals and humans alike.
it even rose the dead as zombies... it was called the NiGHTS virus... (ugh... i suck now)

- WW1 & 2 were the wars to end all wars... they were wrong... because NiGHTS became WW3... (i feel horrible now...)

- the chances of Chuck Norris defeating NiGHTS are two to the power two hundred and seventy-six thousand, seven hundred and nine to one against.
by a totally staggering coincidence, that is also the telephone number of an Islington Flat where a young man went to a very good party, and met a nice girl... whom he totally blew it with.

- NiGHTS once went to hell... after causing so much trouble, satan decide to throw him out, instead of allowing this to happen,
NiGHTS threw satan out, and took over hell.

- if you look closely at the image Hubble got of the many galaxies in space, you will see NiGHTS.

- a black cat crossed NiGHTS' path. 30 seconds later the cat was run over by an oncoming truck. a falcon swooped down to retrieve the corpse,
as it took flight with the cat in its talons both the cat and the falcon randomly caught fire. the flaming pair crash landed on the windshield of
an oncoming plane. with their view blocked by the entrails of the cat an falcon, they crashed. the plane was carrying toxic waste. the waste spread and poisoned everything and we died. (bah...)

- NiGHTS is believed to be the only creature in the galaxy to have perfectly mastered the elegant art of " YOUGOTPWNED" without fail.

okay... i admit... im horrible now... i fail... but, hey... i tried right?

#66
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-If you Google search "NiGHTS getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Oh really? :P

#67
The wise Kitsune

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NiGHTS officially created and is the rightful owner to the Internet.

NiGHTS is the real Nightmare on Elm street.

#68
NNR07

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You will be sent to a eternal torture and rot to death if you even imply that NiGHTS could even possibly get his ass kicked. It just doesn't happen.

#69
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Oh really? ^_^

That doesn't count, seeing as NiGHTS isn't involved in the fight. Undoubtedly, if he was, then there wouldn't be a video because no one would want to see a video that is 3 seconds long. ^_^

Anyway, I bring you the motherload:

-NiGHTS uses pepper spray to spice up his steak.

-A high tide means that NiGHTS is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by Chuck Norris pissing his pants. (Ugh.)

-NiGHTS does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

-If, by some incredible space-time paradox, NiGHTS would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

-NiGHTS once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

-NiGHTS doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

-In an act of great philanthropy, NiGHTS made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

-It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call NiGHTS a giant meteor.

-NiGHTS just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

-"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what NiGHTS calls the pile of dead Maren in his front yard.

-Maslow's Theory of Higher Needs does not apply to NiGHTS. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#70
iNSOMNiAC

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-Once, NiGHTS was touring the Chernobyl plant. He looked at one of the reactors and studied it. The sheer awesome and beauty that NiGHTS contained caused a small rupture in the reactor...

-Wizeman did not create NiGHTS. NiGHTS created Wizeman.

-NiGHTS was once hired by someone to assassinate Jackle. Instead, NiGHTS paralooped his fellow 'Maren so hard, that his body ceased to exist, along with his mind. NiGHTS then confronted his "employer", got his money, and killed them.



I fail. .___.

#71
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NiGHTS knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Just ask him ^^

#72
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NiGHTS once entered a spitting contest, creating what we now call the Pacific Ocean.

NiGHTS once won a game of Connect Four with only three moves.

One day NiGHTS decided to play a game of Dance Dance Revolution while vacationing on an ocean liner. During a particularly upbeat portion of one of the songs, he accidently triggered the Sumatra-Andaman earthquake of 2004.

NiGHTS's fighting record is one billion seven hundred fifty-four million four hundred fifty-three thousand four hundred twenty-three wins and only one loss. I am the only person ever to successfully kick NiGHTS's ass.

#73
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NiGHTS's fighting record is one billion seven hundred fifty-four million four hundred fifty-three thousand four hundred twenty-three wins and only one loss. I am the only person ever to successfully kick NiGHTS's ass.

Impossible. It simply cannot be done. Doing so would tear a hole in the space-time continuum.

Anyway, my daily smattering of jokes:

-NiGHTS uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
-People created the automobile to escape from NiGHTS...Not to be outdone, NiGHTS created the automobile accident.
-NiGHTS is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, NiGHTS is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.
-On Valentine's Day, NiGHTS gives his girlfriend the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, NiGHTS believes every day should be Valentine's Day.
-Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". NiGHTS shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
-NiGHTS eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.

#74
EZEKiAL

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NiGHTS is so awesome, he had no idea there was a singular for the word "girlfriends".

First there was nothing, then God said "Let there be light...and NiGHTS."

#75
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Today's facts:

-Fact: NiGHTS doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
-NiGHTS never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
-When you say "no one's perfect", NiGHTS takes this as a personal insult.
-Jesus can walk on water, but NiGHTS can walk on Jesus.
-As an infant, NiGHTS's parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
-Think of a hot woman. NiGHTS did her.

#76
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NiGHTS lurks forums eating barbed wire and building up a reputation of being cruel on a virtual pet site for children. (My, what a lofty goal.)

#77
Sage

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NiGHTS is so awesome that dream characters from other works have to emulate him to be cool.*







*see Frightmare thread. X3

#78
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NiGHTS invented rule #34 on a "slow day"

#79
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- If you look into the mouth of NiGHTS, you will be able to see a future disaster of yours. And now you will be able to avoid it ;)

#80
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New jokes Facts:

-If at first you don't succeed, you're not NiGHTS.

-There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well, it does exist, and NiGHTS finds it delicious.

-When NiGHTS says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

-Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. NiGHTS jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

-NiGHTS does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

-Q: How many NiGHTS' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, NiGHTS prefers to kill in the dark.

-NiGHTS is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.




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